haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
