smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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