he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
