just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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