I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
