how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
