Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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