I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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