Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
