FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
