Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I see more hoeing in ur future
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