420 ftw
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
