He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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