Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
