I feel great
I just peed on a car
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
