I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
