Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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