No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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