Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
