Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
