We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
