I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
