I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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