I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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