dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
