So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
