Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
