i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
