ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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