why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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