So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
