Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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