I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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