Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
