areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
