my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
