Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
