Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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