bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
