Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
