I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
