You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
