If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
