i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
