he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
