Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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