We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
