I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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