Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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