i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
