There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
