she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
