you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
