Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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