Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
