Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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