I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
