i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
