i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
